Playing House
by martinskki
Summary: Everyone plays house at least once when they're little. Little girls would fight to be the mom, while little boys would fight to play mom and dad with the girl they liked. It's all very elementary when you're young. But what's it like when you're not? What about when Lucas and Maya get paired up to take care of a fake baby for home ec. class?
1. Chapter 1

"What. The hell. Is this thing?" Maya grabbed the prosthetic baby by the leg and dangled it above her desk. Her arm was outstretched as if the thing reaked of garbage, and her face was scrunched to match.

"That is your first born, Miss Hart. I suggest you treat it better than your smelly gym socks." Mrs. Grant hovered over Maya's small stature and peered at her behind her narrow glasses.

Maya's quick wit kicked into gear. "My socks don't smell. I also don't take gym." A scoff followed her comment, her aqua eyes glimmering with mischief.

Mrs. Grant was familiar with the short girl's antics, but not yet accustomed enough to let her slide. "You must love spending time with me after school Miss Hart. Three o'clock again today?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world." Maya never let teachers know they got to her, so she accepted the punishment with ease. Detention was the home of her most sacred naps anyways.

"Nice one, short stack." Lucas leaned over his desk to whisper in Maya'a ear. She shifted slightly in her seat at the existence of his lips practically on her neck. Because it made her uncomfortable, of course. No other reason.

Maya rolled her eyes at the Texan's attempt to jab at her. "What was that, Lucas?" She raised her voice, making it obvious to the whole class that they were talking.

"Mister Friar, is there something you'd like to add?" Mrs. Grant crossed her arms and glared at the teen, who was still hunched over his desk with his face next to Maya's.

Lucas turned a deep shade of pink, something Maya took pleasure in making happen. "Detention?" He asked, already knowing the answer.

Mrs. Grant gave him a knowing nod before addressing the entire class. "I have placed a simulator baby on every other person's desk. For the weekend, you will partner up with someone in this class, care for this baby like a real one, and be graded by the score the simulator produces. Go." She shooed the students with a flick of her hand, and they were sent into a frenzy.

Lucas tapped Maya on the shoulder, and she spun to face him in one fluid movement, purposefully flipping her long wavy locks right in his face. "Yes, Huckleberry?"

"That's partner to you." His grin was frustratingly smug, his pearly white teeth threatening to blind her.

Maya balled her fists. "Oh, there is no way I'm raising a child with you Cowboy. Who's to say you wouldn't accidentally drop it in a cow patty while out in the pasture?" Her fake southern accent only ever came out to mock him, even though his accent was barely thick at all.

"Well I guess you'll have to take that chance. Because while you were sitting there thinking of that cute little remark," the 'cute' required a wink, "everyone else already found their match." Lucas eyed Maya as if he was trying to sarcastically seduce her. This game they played was all kinds of strange.

Maya looked around to find that the entire class was grouped off into pairs, just like the Moral Compass said. "Damn it Friar, wipe that shit-eating grin off your face." She waved her finger in his face. This always warranted him venturing to bite it, which then became a cat-and-mouse game of her moving her hand fast enough to not get bit. She never did.

Their teasing was interrupted by the bell sending them off to last period. Maya bounced out of her chair, grabbing her new infant and shoving it into Lucas's arms. "You get first shift. Try not to bore it to death."

Lucas immediately shifted the baby into a cradle position, slinging his backpack over his broad shoulder. With a tip of his imaginary cowboy hat, he replied, "I'll do my best, ma'am."

Maya swore she could hear a ding when he winked, as if she was on a television show or some cheesy ass movie. She rolled her eyes yet again and made her way out of the classroom, her partner scampering right behind her.

As they parted ways, Lucas called out, "I'll miss you, wifey!"

Maya responded in the most Maya way possible: flipping him off behind her back.

Day 1/

It is nine in the morning on a Saturday. For Maya Hart, that is a precious hour dedicated to the most simple joy in her life-sleep. She had only fallen asleep three hours earlier, so the sleep was not only pleasant, but much needed. So when a banging on her window startled her awake, you could say she wasn't the happiest camper.

Groaning louder than any car horn outside, she stumbled out of bed and to the window, yanking it open and never opening her eyes.

"This thing never shuts up. It's like you, but somehow worse." Lucas sat on her fire escape in flannel pajama bottoms and his baseball sweatshirt. His hair was awry and he was obviously sleep deprived, yet he still looked as cute as ever. Damn him.

"Ugh." Was all he got in response. Maya was ferociously rubbing at her eyes, desperate to get them adjusted to the light. "Come inside before you blind me, asshole." She clutched one of his stout biceps in her petite hand and drug him into her bedroom, fumbling around to get the window closed again.

"Hey, watch it, precious cargo here." He gestured to their baby simulator, which was wrapped in a small yellow blanket.

Maya finally regained sight, but she was still squinting. "You're taking this so seriously. That's adorable." Her tone let him know it was not the good kind of adorable(even though it was, but she would never admit that).

Lucas raised his eyebrows. "Speaking of adorable." He looked her up and down. "Cute PJ's, short stack." He was referring to Maya's plaid pajama shorts/oversized tie dye t-shirt combo. Her messy ponytail was also incredibly charming.

"Yeah well, I wasn't exactly expecting company. What are you even doing here, Sundance?" It was still dark in her room, the only light escaping from the cracks in her window shades and a small night-light in the corner. Lucas had laid the baby down gently on Maya's bed, pulling off a few blankets and pillows for himself to curl up in on her floor.

"It's your shift." Lucas stated pompously, getting comfortable.

"Yet you're staying?" Maya raised a single perfectly sculpted eyebrow. Lucas crashing at her place wasn't exactly an abnormal occurrence. This wasn't their first rodeo at this partner project thing, and sometimes their group hangs with Riley, Zay, and Farkle lasted longer than expected. Not that she ever enjoyed the cowboy sleeping in her room. No, gross.

"Frankly Wifey, I'm not sure if I can trust you with the fate of our offspring. And my grade." Lucas badgered her as he strived to doze off.

Maya kicked him as she crawled over his dead weight to get to her own bed. "Frankly Hopalong, if you call me Wifey one more time, I'll make sure actual offsprings aren't an option for you." She maneuvered around the fake baby laying at the foot of her bed as she tucked herself in.

"Mmm you're too good to me." Lucas's voice was lethargic sounding. It was obvious he was basically half asleep. He had almost dozed off completely when Maya nudged the baby in her battle with her sheets, sending into into a cry fest.

"Damn it!" Maya cursed aloud, falling backwards.

Lucas grumbled. "Language! There's a child in the room."

"Cowboy, I swear one day I'm going to slip a lasso around your neck." She bantered with him over the screeches at her feet.

"If that's what you're into."

"UGH."

"It's your tuurrrnn."

"UUUGH." Maya sat up like Frankenstein to grab the crying machine. Rocking it, she muttered, "Sign up for home ec, Riley said! It'll be fun! She said. Why did I let her talk me into this?"

—

Their day could be summarized by three words: sleep, baby, repeat. The first ten times, Lucas insisted on Maya doing all of the work, considering that it was "her shift", as if they were working in a restaurant or something and not raising a fake baby.

"You do it." One would groan.

"No you." The other would insist.

"It's your fucking turn." One would insist.

"I did it last time." The other fussed.

"When even was last time?" One challenged.

"JUST HOLD THE DAMN BABY." Maya did most of the yelling.

When three in the afternoon rolled around, Maya awoke to Lucas slipping out of the window. "Hey Huckleberry!" Her hoarse voice called after him.

Lucas poked his head back in. "Yeah?"

"I can't believe you're just leaving like I'm the freshman you're ashamed you slept with." Her face was contorted into a flirty pout, her blonde waves falling effortlessly out of her ponytail around her face.

Lucas chuckled, glancing at the ground before locking eyes with her. "Maya, you're not a freshman." And he was off again, giving her no time to gibe back.

"Ranger Rick!" One more time.

Lucas backed up yet again, grazing his bedhead against the top of the window. "Yes ma'am?"

Maya would just have to ignore that one. "Are you taking Rick The II?"

From lifting his eyebrows and widening his eyes, to dropping his head to face the ground as he came to the realization. "Please don't tell me you named our fake baby Rick The II?"

Feeling redeemed, Maya responded, "Yep, right after his father. I was thinking Ranger as a middle name." She got the biggest kick out of his hate for nicknames.

"Dear God have mercy on our son. Yes, I have him." He started away again, but not before Maya could catch a snicker escape his lips.

"Yo Heehaw!" Maya stifled back giggles.

"Oh my god, what?" He appeared yet again in the opening of the window, but instead of propping his forearms up, he flexed them, his veins popping out.

Maya beamed, turning her head to the side. "Nothing, just wanted to see if you'd come back."

Lucas rolled his eyes as he walked away for good. "I hate you!" His deep voice echoed into her bedroom.

As he walked home, he thought about how he actually didn't really hate her, all the while she sat in her room thinking about his arms, and how they'd feel around her.


	2. Cowboy, where's the bottle?

Day 2/

"We look like we just escaped an insane asylum." Maya's voice was monotoned, her face matching it.

Lucas huffed. "No we don't."

She stopped dead in her tracks, crossing her skinny arms across her chest. "Lucas. We're pushing a fake baby around in a stroller. In Central Park. In broad daylight. How much loonier could it get?"

"We could be pushing a fake baby in a stroller on the streets at night time." Lucas continued their trek, leaning over the stroller to peer at baby Rick.

Maya slapped his arm. "Would you stop checking on it like it's real?" She could feel the stares from bystanders.

"Would you lighten up a little? This is supposed to be fun." Lucas nudged her arm, a huge grin plastered across his face. And the annoying part was, it wasn't fake.

Maya rolled her eyes, kicking a rock as she strolled along. "I'm with you, how am I supposed to have fun?" She teased him, a smile cracking at the edge of her lips.

He knew she was joking, but as she said it, Lucas felt his stomach drop, and was sure not to let it show in his face. "Oh, come on. You're telling me you came all the way here, just to have a lousy time? Admit it. You like hanging out with me. Admit it. Admit it." He was poking her in the stomach, causing her to use every ounce of strength to stifle her giggles. He knew that was her ticklish spot.

Her arms flailed as she swatted at him like a bee, gasping for air as she gave into her chuckles. "Fine, fine, okay!" He stopped, cracking up at her squirming. "I guess you're not the worst person to spend time with." Maya avoided eye contact, directing her gaze at the sky or the ground.

Lucas clutched his heart, guiding the stroller with one hand. "Aw, now was that so hard, Pancakes?"

"I've never been in so much pain as I was while speaking that sentence." Maya's face turned sour, her soft pink lips puckered and frowning.

"Stop being a brat. You're worse than the baby." Lucas shoved her playfully, gesturing to their infant they were still pushing.

"Speaking of." Maya circled around to the front of the stroller, lifting the baby from it's buckles in the seat. "Time for lunch."

—

The two found an empty bench and parked themselves. Maya sat with her legs crossed and baby in hand, trying everything to make it stop whining. "Cowboy, where's the bottle?"

"Coming right up." He opened the storage compartment at the bottom of the stroller, retrieving a small blue diaper bag and slinging it over his shoulder. Without looking, he reached into the side compartment and grabbed the bottle, placing it in Maya's hand before taking his spot next to her.

She glared at him, then at the bag, then at him again. "I hate myself for knowing you." She slipped the pretend bottle into the baby's mouth, activating the tiny sensor that recorded when it was fed.

Lucas just continued beaming his infectious smile,stretching his arm across the bench behind Maya's head. She was so small in comparison to him. Sitting, she fit perfectly into his side. She could tilt her blonde head and be resting comfortably on his shoulder. There was no space between them, which allowed for his entire left side to be warmed by her right. It was comforting, he mused, and the thought of her began warming his entire body, not just his left. He only snapped out of it when she spoke.

"You really take this fake parenting stuff seriously, huh?" She questioned, keeping the bottle tilted into the baby's mouth.

Lucas blinked, not realizing his gaze had been directed at her until hers was directed at him. "Uh yeah, I guess. I really want kids, so, I figure it's practice." He pried his eyes away from hers and peered at the ground, regaining his composure.

"You seem like the kind of guy who's excited about having kids." Maya nodded, fixating on his profile as he stared at the grass in front of them. His jawline was sharper than any of her kitchen knifes, but his cheeks made him look softer than any pillow she'd ever laid her head on.

Lucas turned to face her. "I take it you don't feel the same?" He raised his dark brows and tilted his head, genuinely intrigued by what she had to say.

Maya shrugged. "I just think I'd suck at it. Parents are supposed to be selfless, and understanding, and cheery. They always know what to say. I'm not like that." She kept her eyes locked on his, setting the baby bottle beside her on the other side of the bench.

Appalled, Lucas sighed, dropping his head. "Maya Hart, are you kidding me?" He used her whole name, which meant business. "You would make an excellent parent. You're all of those things. Okay, maybe not cheery, but you're fun. That's so much better." He paused, patting her knee, then leaving his hand there. "And you're so good at knowing what to say. I've never seen you not know what to say. Which is annoying, but good."

Maya's face had softened, her eyes smiling along with her mouth. "Aw, shucks Hee Haw." She melted into his side, her head fitting into the crook of his neck like a puzzle piece.

He removed his hand from the bench, rubbing her shoulder and resting his on the top of hers for a second. "Don't make me regret it, Short Stack."

She sat up straight, removing herself from his side. "Nobody can know we just had a serious moment, got it? I have a reputation to uphold."

"A reputation that centers around being mean to me?" Lucas enquired, peeling his hand away from her leg.

Maya stood up, placing both of her hands on her delicate hips. "Precisely." She tucked the baby bottle back into the bag and buckled Rick the II back into the stroller. "I'm in the mood for ice cream."

Lucas rose to his feet, taking his place to man the stroller. "To get your icy heart back to normal?"

"I hate you." Was all she mustered up, blowing a strand of hair off of her porcelain face.

"The line between love and hate is a thin one." Lucas stated, pointing a finger at her.

Maya directed a finger back at him, only it wasn't her index one.

—

"One double scoop chocolate for the lady." Lucas delivered Maya's ice cream cone to her. She was perched at a small table outside of the shop, rocking baby Rick back and forth. The sun was setting, threatening darkness noon.

"Thanks, Huckleberry." She took the cone from him and immediately started licking away at it.

Lucas sat across from her eating his choice of vanilla, watching her multi task with the baby and the treat. "The baby isn't even crying, why are you holding it?"

Maya placed Rick back in the stroller beside her, lounging her arms on the table between them. "I found out how entertaining it could be to stare at strangers while holding a fake baby." She seemed so pleased with herself. "Turns out very."

Lucas chuckled, resting his arms next to hers, almost closing the gap of distance between them. "Like I said, an excellent parent."

Maya licked the excess chocolate off of her small pout, sending Lucas into a mental frenzy he quickly dismissed. "Speaking of, you've never told me about your family. What are they like?"

"You've never told me about yours either." Lucas replied, made uneasy by her request. Talking about his family wasn't exactly his favorite thing.

Maya took another long lick from her cone before responding. Chocolate ice cream demanded to be savored. "You basically know everything from Riley. And besides, I asked first."

Lucas saved a melting drop from falling onto his free hand. "Well, I live with my mom here. My dad still lives in Texas, but my parents aren't separated. I mean, technically they're separated, but only distance wise, they're not divorced." He was rambling, this wasn't good. "Um, I'm an only child. My dad is in some oil business thing, I try not to get too involved." He was tapping his foot nervously, hoping she didn't ask any deeper questions.

"Wow, aren't you just an open book?" She taunted, but didn't dig any further. She sensed his restlessness, and was slightly honored that he'd shared that much. "Seriously, coming from someone who has nowhere near close to a perfect home life, I get it."

Lucas turned his lips into a faint, thankful smile before proceeding to bit into his cone. Finishing the cold dessert was proving to be difficult as the sunlight grew weaker, and he caught Maya shivering a bit as she took her last bite. Impulsively, he reached behind him, before remembering who he was with. "Do you want my jacket?"

Maya couldn't help but giggle at his manners. "Are you serious, Ranger Rick?" She dragged her hands across her bare arms, secretly desperate for warmth, although she'd never tell him that.

He rose from his chair, traveling the short distance to her and wrapping his hoodie around her shoulders. "Yes ma'am I am. Can't have the mother of my child freezing to death."

"This is so cliche I think I'm going to actually be sick." Maya's face scrunched up, but she didn't refuse the immediate relief the jacket brought, slipping her arms into its huge sleeves.

Lucas cracked up. "Oh my god, that's hysterical. You look like an actual toddler in that thing!" He was doubled over laughing.

"Ha ha, hilarious." Maya stuck her tongue out at him, fake pouting.

"Oh, it is." He whipped his phone out of his back pocket and snapped a picture before she could protest. "Should I tag you in this?"

"Texas, I swear to god if you post that anywhere-"

"You'll what? Cry? Kick? Scream? I'll just put you in time out." He noted how fun it was to have the upper hand.

"Hey, don't underestimate me. The life of your first born rests in my hands." She yanked Rick up, hoisting him over her head as if she was going to throw him across the street.

Lucas gasped. "You wouldn't."

"I think we both know I would."

"That's our grade, Maya!"

"One F won't kill me, I'm a solid D student. You, on the other hand…"

Lucas lunged at her, forcing her to tuck the baby under Lucas's hoodie and crouch forward. "Give me the baby and nobody gets hurt!"

Maya attempted to elbow him away. "Are you saying you'd hurt me, Lucas Manners Friar?"

"I'm saying I'll tickle you to death, yes." Lucas picked her up and shook her. It was comical how easy it was for him.

Maya screeched. "Fine, you can have it! I just want out of this with my brain in tact." She let him lower her to the ground before handing over Rick.

Lucas grabbed him, returning him to the stroller. "You're a monster." He hovered over Maya's small stature. From this close, he could count her hundreds of perfectly curled eyelashes and smell the strawberry shampoo in her hair.

"Says the person who just threatened to kill me." Maya crossed her arms, shifting her weight to one foot. She could feel his breath on her face, and wondered what it would feel like on her neck.

"With tickles!" Lucas said in an exasperated tone. "You're exhausting." He watched her bit her lip, and subconsciously did the same himself, creating an unwelcome moment of sexual tension.

"I know." She poked his chest and sauntered away. "I've got a curfew, Cowboy."

—

He insisted on walking her home from the subway station, even though "the sun isn't even completely down yet" and "her neighborhood isn't even scary". The walk was filled with yawns and baby cries, along with the occasional stumble into the other's pathway. Turns out they really were exhausting each other.

When Maya approached her building, she stopped on the first step, almost becoming the same height as Lucas. "I assume you're taking Rick with you?" She was not going through a night with the little devil child.

Lucas nodded. "I am. Only because I'm sure you'd stuff him into some box or something."

Maya chuckled. It was so gentle, and genuine, and it brought a blush to his cheeks unlike any heat ever could. "You're probably right. I need my beauty sleep after a day with you." She shoved his strapping shoulder, barely nudging him.

"You need your beauty sleep every day." His voice was hoarse and deeper somehow. It was soothing, and made her even sleepier.

She let that one slide. Had to give him a victory at least every once in a while. "Goodnight, Ranger Rick." She pivoted to face her building and climbed the short staircase to the entrance.

Lucas watched her walk away, already missing her annoying face, and annoying voice, but admiring her annoying hair as it swayed with every step. "Hey, Maya." He called out as she swung open the door.

Her annoying hair whirled around with her annoying petite body. "What, loser?" She was expecting another insult.

"Maybe, one day, you can tell me about your family?" His smile was more sincere than any letter ever written.

Taken aback, her demeanor tenderized. She glanced at the ground, letting the slightest laugh escape her lips. She found his eyes again with ease, even in the darkness. "Maybe."


End file.
